What's happening to my boys!?!?

Russell Crowe has to be one of my favorite actors of all time. Master & Commander, Gladiator, that one movie where he sees people and he's a math genius? Yeah, excellent actor....that is until I heard a song by one of my favorite Irish bands, Gaelic Storm, where the lead singer used to manage a bar out in San Fransisco (true), and how Russell Crowe came in and tried smoking during the ban (probably true), and like the song goes, good ol' Gladiator was drunk and up for some scrapping when the lead singer told him he couldn't smoke at the bar....so he hit Russell in the head!! You can listen to the song while reading this here. Gaelic usurped the position of affection in my mind that Russell once had. But Russ was a great actor, and if you've seen him in Master & Commander, you might agree that was one of his best roles. One interesting thing from the movie of actual historical significance is this: you ever notice who the seamen (a few elderly men) called Lieutenant....those 17 yr old boys. No, it was not the mistake of the producers to put in boys when they meant men.

Sure Russ was older and the commander and all, but it was common practice to put 16-18 yr old boys into leadership on those boats during the wars of 1812 and earlier. It was practice of the British Royal Navy to enroll young boys by the age 13 to start their training to be midhshipmen, and then if they passed their test, to be Lieutenants. Interestingly, the practice to train up young people in the seafaring skill, is still continuing to this day in a program called Outward Bound (if I had the time and money, I would so do it, but alas...).

That was the 1800's. Now consider the early 1900's to the 60's. If you were 26 yrs old, there was a 68% chance that you were married, had kids, and a mortgage. Fast forward, to today. The average 26 yr old (I believe the stat for which this is true is 78%) is not married, does not have a mortgage, but is the main consumer of video games. In the US, the age bracket 18-34, makes up 95% of the consumers of video games that come out today. What happened?

Something happened in the early 20th century, that changed things forever for men. In the marketing world there was a term called "elusive gap", which were men between the ages of 18-35. You couldn't reach them. They were not shoppers, they were content (maybe, or just depressed...or rich), you couldn't reach out to them. That is until something happened in marketing theory. Something so radical, it would change the face of marketing to really what we know it is today. Over our great pond in England, the president of Maxim (a gentlemens magazine), started walking down a radical path wih marketing, which said, "Give them what they want." That was it!! The women began showing up on their magazine covers in ways that would set the model for marketing that we see today. Beautiful blonde babes, draped (not dressed) in clothes almost falling off, starting getting mens attention, and consequently brought mens eyes over products inside the magazine.

It is the same today. We get what we want!! It's gone so far as company's studying bilogical responses to images, smells, and reactions to products. Emsense is such a company, that scientifically measures the neural reaction to movie trailers, to see which ones will do the best. The main thrust in marketing today seems to be satiating the consumers. "The customer is always right", right? But what's best for us?

The society has fostered a stagnant atmosphere for our young adults, one in which they are not challenged. "You want to stay home with your parents in the basement until your 24? Ok, how many twinkies would you like? You dropped your gaming console....here." It's almost as if were now saying, "Whatever the young adult wants, is right?" So lets give them what they want?

My one single question is this? Are we challenging our men? Period. Perhaps we are, but are we challenging them enough? This may be no secret, but men love challenges. That's why we like complicated and competitive video games. Say, "you'll never be able to do it" and watch him excel in trying to prove you wrong. That's not entirely my idea of challenge though.

I feel we have a domino dillemma. If our fathers weren't instructed into passing into manhood, how are they able to do that for us. Its a domino effect. Put yourself in the feet of your father, especially if he doesn't feel fulfilled in his occupation, and his marriage is struggling, it will be difficult for him to look at his son, and breathe manhood into his sails, when he alone doesn't feel manly. My challenge to anyone reading, is to simply begin treating our young adults like men. You treat them like boys, they'll stay boys. Treat them like men, and they'll become men. Sure, they'll be immature. In the 1800's, the biggest problem they had with young lieutenants was laziness. We as men are always growing though.

Challenge us! Treat our young people in the way you want them to be!!





A number of things as of late has fueled thought on this matter. One of the articles that did so, was this one.

Is your movie watching God glorifying?

An article I thought asking a question I dont ask very often.....

Is it possible to glorify God through the enjoyment of music, movies, literature, etc. produced by secular artists?

Yes. I assume the computer you are holding there was probably not built by Christians, and I hope that you are glorifying God as you tap away at it. And of course out from there, there are a 1000 things that we use all day long, and God says, 'whatever you do, whether you eat or drink, do all to the glory of God.' And he knows that you are eating this meat that may have been sacrificed to idols, so that means it was probably butchered by an unbeliever, or handled by an unbeliever, shipped by an unbeliever, it may have been cooked by an unbelieving cook. And here you are savoring the product of all those unbelievers' work because you are in that moment giving thanks to God for it, recognizing that the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof and taking the strength and the joy that comes from it to render back to him.

Now with the arts and with media it is more morally complex than with food. But it is the same principle. The complexity of it is, in those moments what do you do with the moral elements of it that are so contrary to your faith?

I'll just point out one principle because we can talk about this forever. What concerns me is the distinction between entertainment and cultural analysis. To watch something, to study the culture, learn from the culture, be more able to interact with unbelievers for the sake of the glory of Christ is one thing. To just sit and bask in nudity, or bask in fifty f-words, or bask in a world view that is shot through with arrogance to the core, and enjoy it? Hmm. That seems to point to something going on in the heart. And frankly, I have tasted it big time. I think today we are going to have to work at not being shaped by the world because the world has made its world view so scintillatingly attractive.

Movie after movie after movie has come out and most young reformed people are, I would say, indiscriminate. "Let's go to a movie tonight." OK, and then we just choose the best. None of the movies in that theater at that night are any good, probably. But you are just going to do it, because that is what you do. You go to the movies on Friday night, or whatever. And then of course you think, we've got to Christianize this thing somehow.

I just think we need to test our hearts big time. Big time. Why are we able to enjoy hell bound, God ignoring, Christ dishonoring, false world views because we can give it a little twist at the end that it taught us this or that about the world? So, I think the main thing I'm saying there is, test your heart as to whether entertainment is defaulting to the world, or to something more wholesome. We live in an age where we tend to default to the world for entertainment.


This article was found at Desiring God's website, here

A look into Spiritual Depression and weapons to fight it with!

The heart is oh so complex! So many things go into forming the heart all the way from infancy to a persons current age, like circumstances, parental temperaments, world events and friends. Needless to say, its probably the most complex thing in the universe. This heart of ours is also not perfect, as vast as it is. At times we go through stages of what we call depression. It's no fun! As one who has had bouts of depression (relatively mild causes thank God), you want anything but to be in that state of emotion. You're desperate!! In that state you reach for whatever help you can get. Some go to the bar and the bottle, others find susbtances to control their brain, and some just turn off and can't get out of the house. In those times we need tools, tools with which to fix ourselves. We need weapons, weapons to shoot down the lies of the evil one. It is in this light I wish to share with you some thoughts from D. Martin Lloyd-Jones that has helped me IMMENSELY fight depression and realize what it really is.
First, he calls it spiritual depression, which makes sense, in that we are all spiritual. All the time, we never cease to be spiritual beings. Either we are or we are not. In the first chapter he goes into the causes of spiritual depression. One basic cause he doesn't go into very much, because he feels it is not a major cause for it, but is the problem of comparison.

"There are many people who seem to be in trouble because they are more or less living on other peoples experiences, or are coveting other peoples experiences; and it is because they are always looking at persons and their stories instead of frist grasping the teaching [principles with which to live from the Bible], they should have forewarned and safeguarded us against that particular danger [spiritual depression]." (Lloyd-Jones, P. 11)

He more specifically goes into other reasons why people suffer depression. He argues that there are people whose temperaments are more vulnerable to spiritual depression, and other reasons. But I want to hone in one the main reason why people suffer from spiritual depression.

"I think I can put it finally like this: the ultimate cause of all spiritual depression is unbelief....It is because we listen to the devil instead of listening to God that we go down before him and fall before his attacks. That is why the psalmist keeps on saying to himself: "Hope thou in God for I shall yet praise Him..." He reminds himself of God. Why? Because he was depressed and had forgotten God, so that his faith and his belief in God in God's power, and in His relationship to God, were not what they ought to be." (Llody-Jones P. 20)

In those moments when we are at our wits end, we find ourselves having culminated to the point of forgetting who we are in God, what He has done for us, and what He will keep doing for us. In John Piper's book "Future Grace", future grace is one of the biggest weapons with which we can fight depression. We REMEMBER that has provisioned eternally a measure of grace to those who love Him. It means He's taken care of us!! His grace is known to us from the ways he's worked in our lives, and we are hopeful in looking to the future with the perfect knowledge that God will provide Grace, His Grace, for every moment of our lives. It is here I would say that John Piper's teaching and D. Martin Lloyd-Jones teaching combine to make the most powerful idea against depression. Consider Lloyd-Jones:

"I say we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing 'ourselves' to talk to us![Emphasis added] Do you realize what that means? I suggest that the main trouble in this whole matter of spritual depression in a sense is this, that we allow ourself to talk to us instead of talking to our self...Take those thoughts that come to you in the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you....You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself 'Hope in God'- instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and What God is and What God has done, and what God has pledged himself to do." (Lloyd-Jones P. 21)

In sum, preach to yourself! Don't let doubt creep into your heart. Unbelief is the very thing that springs up from doubt. Do you believe the Word of God to be true, then stand on it like you believe it is. When you are in the those difficult times, fast from the influences around you, and devour God's Holy Word!! Memmorize it!! Don't let go until you hear from Him!! Press on!! His Grace is Sufficient!!

Consider that if you are in one of those times, God has put you in the middle of the desert for a reason, to ask you one question, "Now that you are despondent and desperate, who are you going to turn to? I'm here, but who are you going to turn to?" Are you ridiculously going to turn away from his hand in search of water on your own, or will you let the master of this world show you the way to the deepest springs of life to be satisfied!!

No adjective

This is a re-post from Ray Ortlund's blog from Zondervan's site.

“The gate of Mercy is opened, and over the door it is written, ‘This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.‘ Between that word ‘save’ and the next word ‘sinners,’ there is no adjective. It does not say, ‘penitent sinners,’ ‘awakened sinners,’ ‘sensible sinners,’ ‘grieving sinners’ or ‘alarmed sinners.’ No, it only says, ‘sinners.’ And I know this, that when I come, I come to Christ today, for I feel it is as much a necessity of my life to come to the cross of Christ today as it was to come ten years ago—when I come to him, I dare not come as a conscious sinner or an awakened sinner, but I have to come still as a sinner with nothing in my hands.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon, preaching on John 3:18, 17 February 1861.

A look at the difficult practice of forgiveness

My wife and I are about to celebrate our 11 month anniversary, and it's been the sweetest 11 months of my life. I won't lie, they have also been some of the hardest. In fact, loving Emily has invited some of the greatest difficulties, because in loving her, I am dying to my self: I am little by little counting myself as secondary to serving, caring for, and loving my wife!
Do I seem like a good, sweet loving husband? Good, moving on. All that to say, my wife and I are not all that experienced in marriage warfare and the peace-making that necessarily should ensue. But recently in some arguments that we've had recently I've come to some very helpful conclusions. There are daily blogs, radio shows, I subscribe to that have proved extremely helpful in my walk with Christ, and I feel I must share my findings and observations with you, because I think the economony of arguments, polemics, and defenses, all with the emotional harborings that go with such battles, is a very common economony in everyones relationships.

Today, my goal is to put into logical order thoughts that have been flying around like highly energetic moths on a cool summer evening. I plan to aggressively PEG them to some poster board, and Lord willing disect them, for the benefit of all, to see what benefit they will give.
Under the banner of relational arguments, I'd like to write specifically about a thing that I've found I struggle with, BIG TIME! Forgiveness! It's just plain hard! It is by nature, a very logically abrasive thing to do. I'm going to go "point by point" format, so here are my observations on this difficult thing:

Forgiveness is...
1) Unjust! Yes, thats right, you are being completely just when you withold forgiveness against someones genuine offense. Isn't that how the courts work. You offend the law, you commit a crime, you PAY! There is a necessary transaction. The offender must pay for what he has done, justice says, there must be punishment. So in social circles, an offense is not easily overlooked. Especially when it is over an emotional matter. And to count someones offense as nothing, is unjust. It is also the VERY thing God does when he covers our sin, with the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. Before Jesus died, God compromised His Glory in forgiving us, those who were repentent of their wrong-doings (so basically all those in the Old Testament of the Bible). He loved us so much, he with-held his wrath, his justice. Consider this; a general of an army sees a woman taking a shower (a woman who he knows is married) and takes her and rapes her. To cover up for himself he sends the husband of the woman to the front lines to be killed, and killed he is. Now picture a short time later, a chaplain comes to the general and tells him he has sinned before God, and the general who lives a life of faith, realizes what he has done, and repents. Because God loves him, he compromises His glory to forgive that man. From the woman's father's point of view, that is a travesty!! He may cry out, "What God? You're just going to forgive him? Just like that? That's not justice! He raped MY daughter!" That's right, true forgiveness is not just! (so that you know there is not a puzzle piece missing, God's glory is reconciled when he sent his son Jesus to die in the place of everyone whom he forgave and loved...Jesus Christ received the punishment that was due to the offenders).

Forgiveness may just be the deepest way in which we exhude God's love for us, to each other. To say "My dear wife, I count all you just said as nothing, I forgive you" is to echo God's sentiment towards us when he says, "My dear children, I count it as nothing what you just did, because the punishment you deserve was put on my Son." What love!

2) Difficult! Why is it so difficult!? Partially because we are hard-wired with a sense of justice, as mentioned before. When we are offended we act as if we are someone high and mighty. "My dear wife, you have just offended the might Luke...you just don't know who you are messing with." We may have such a high ego of ourselves that we are not so quickly ready to forgive such offensive accounts against a person so noble. In marriage, I am called to die to myself, and count my desires secondary to Emily's. What does this look like? It may sound like this in your head, "Gosh, I'm sooo offended! I can't believe what just came out of his mouth." We are so floored at the audacity of such a move, that we get stuck in the awe of it all. And true, it may hurt a lot, and the time between an offense delivered and forgiveness dealt, may take a while, because a hurt can go VERY deep. But if that person is truly sorry, we are to free them of their guilt and quickly forgive them.


There is a side of forgiveness that is dark and manipulative. When we withhold forgiveness from someone after they've been sorry, you are treading in dangerous waters.

Think of it in terms of debt and a covering. When one offends you, they are in your debt. They owe you something. To forgive is to cover it, and count the debt as nothing. But when you hold the debt tight, that's when things get ugly. You passive aggressive people, I think you specailize in this.

When you keep an offender in debt to you, you...

1) Are being extremely manipulative! You are being just, but are throwing the cares of the relationship away. The offender has realized his wrong, and wants reconciliation, but you don't....or maybe you do, you just want him to suffer for a bit, like you did. You are not a friend, you are not looking out for their good, you're not looking to build them up....you're crapping on their well-intended apology. This will lead you no where fast!

2) Are not showing love! It is ok for one to demand compensation for the offense (and it is the just thing to do), and then after which you'll consider things even. But it is love that says, "No, no need, I forgive you and lets put it past us and move on." For the sake of a couple, and the love that can be had, we forgive.

Those are my thoughts. Care to comment?