"Your love is my drug"

As I've received an email from one of my best buds here in Chicago about suits for his wedding, I realized, there are a lot of weddings this summer. Bob & Disha Moreau just began their life together. Tim and Karys Lee are on their honeymoon as I write this. Abishek and Jessica Kumar just got hitched like a month ago. Dave Miller and Megan Yoho are about to begin their life together this fall. Maria Luethy is no longer a Luethy (sorry buddy I forgot your last name). Austin and Anna Hand are FINALLY coming together after what has it been, 10 years? No really, I think it was 3-4 years they've been dating...long distance too at that!! Phew!!

To all of you who I just mentioned, you bring so much joy to my heart! You are building for the future lovers, a model of healthy romance that denies the self and looks to the good of the other.

You are essential in that young people now-a-days are being bombarded with a sex-saturated culture. I mean, a 17 yr old Miley Cyrus (probably a girl that many other younger girls looked up to) was pole dancing at one of her concerts. A brief survey of marketing techniques will quickly reveal that companies appeal to the sexual lure to attract customers. In Chicago there is one clothing poster that ipotmizes this I believe, and it portrays a blonde lying on a lawn chair topless (with her arms covering her breasts in a self-hug) with a black mini-skirt all hugged up around her waist. I can't even tell how long the skirt would be if it were pulled down. It's supposed to advertize clothing. No shirt, no shoes, just the skirt. It's ridiculous!

A major mind-shift is happening! A shift that is appealing to the lustful, shallowingly emotional and hedonistic side of the mind.

Kesha's new song, "Your love is my drug" has an interesting line in it. "I don't care what people say...the rush is worth the price I pay" and then goes to sing about having a slumber party in her basement with the "boy" that she's lovesick with....sorry lust sick with. "Luke, you're so narrow minded and old school...how can you accuse her of being lustful, why not just in love? They're just young lovers." To you I'd say, you've misunderstood love altogether. Lust and love have blurred their lines. Love considers the future and makes the best decision for both lovers in the moment; lust lives in the moment and does not consider the future but merely feels the emotions of the moment. Love considers the good and well-being of the other to be goal of their love; lust is selfish and does not give way easily to the good of others.

Today there seems to be a thought that dominates many of our decisions. "Do what feels good." This is basically hedonism. What's wrong with this? I desire an ice cream cone, I'll get one. I want to hang out with my friends, here I go. I love my wife and want to give her a kiss, MMmmmmwah!! Nothing is really wrong with this....except too much of a good thing, is a bad thing! Healthy doses of hedonism need to be met with healthy doses of discernment and reason. Hedonism says "I feel like ice cream right now", and discernment counteracts and replies "hmm maybe you should hold off, you're 475 lbs. as of last Tuesday....you can do without." Hedonism says, "I'm bored I feel like hanging out with my friends" but reason interjects "Ok, do that....if you want to violate what your father said about leaving the house, so if you leave you'll see nothing but being grounded ahead of you for the next 2 months."

It sounds simple doesn't it? Then what's our societies problem? Why are so many young people not waiting to have sex for the first time for marriage? Why are they pretending to be adults and having kids at 15, 16, 17, 18?

We just might not be doing a good job at portraying marriage as appealing and exciting. Instead we make shows that play on broken marriages, unsatisfied wives who sleep around, and highlight the steam of adultery. It's sick, and no wonder our children will copy what is prized, or is held up as exciting.

We need to be an exceptional model to our young people! Marriage is awesome, marriage was intended to safeguard the emotions and general well-being of the other, by way of each other.

Was that a soap box? I'll get down now....thanks for listening!

"No chance of the yellow brick road now": DeVille saga pt 2

Today my co-workers and I danced around the empty desk where my troublesome co-worker once sat, singing "Shes gone...shes gone" all the while awkwardly dancing other-worldly jigs to the tune of the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. It was still a bit of a crazy day today, though this day marked the first in which her absence was relished. You see, she didn't just leave quietly. No no, she had to go and do something stupid. And stupid it was on many levels.

This morning I go to work expecting her not to be there, but dreading that stomach dropping feeling of seeing that weird backside of her head, that so invoked a sort of comical pavlovian effect, which made me almost want to shout "Everyone I'm not glaring at her...can I have your attention please...I would like you all to know that I am not looking into her eyes with embittered sentiments....thank you....and carry on!" Instead she is gone, and I curiously have an extra skip in my step, and a calm in my chest. After about an hour of being at my desk, I hear my co-worker get a call from someone, and it went something like this:

"Hey good morning...yeah...so I heard...WHAT!?!....no...I never did....no that was Luke...no way..." and so it went, you get the jist. When he was done, he looked over his cubicle and began telling me of the allegations that our terse lil co-worker is throwing around. Apparently him and I walked by her cubicle once one day, and in a spout of hatred towards her, he slapped his hands on her desk, and I slapped her across the face. HA! Before I could develop my "guy only" theory about her actions, I then learned that her immediate supervisor would repeatedly stand behind her desk, stomping her feet, and has been known to occassionally flick off our poor co-worker...allegedly. If I spent the rest of my day with my jaw open, it would not bring justice to the awe I felt at that moment.

One thing that this experience has given me, is a social profile for a truly crazy person, into which I'm sure more people down the road of life I'll live will bring others into. When I was going through this, I found myself at a lack for words to describe her, her actions, and my feelings towards her in this scenario. None of us at the SunTimes have ever heard of anything like this, and boy was it a quick school program for learning how to deal with conflict.

I'm sure the ENTIRE company knows of this...people everywhere are talking to me about it, giving me joking stares and then chuckling. The best one was by this one guy who came up to me during lunch and was like "stop staring at me....noooooo" and pretended to be melting. Everyone seems to be getting a kick out of it.

But let me draw your attention to a detail of this matter that I want everyone to think through. First thing is, we are a society of people...a collective people, a family (as dysfuntional as it may be). Second thing, put yourself in her shoes. I'm going to guess that mentally she may not be the sharpest tool in the shed (and really which one of us is truly sharp all the time....with or without our coffee), and has had situations in other jobs. There is a proverb that says "out of the mouth the heart speaks", and the things that she just went through here were not environment dependent, but something shes going through at home, with her family, or with a loved one...really who knows. But one thing is for sure, as a society we may be all too quick to poke, prod, and criticize at others expenses. This scenario is a bit different in that, what she did was just plain uncalled for, and outrageous. But I want to remind everyone of whos reading this, of the healing power of friendship. Don't forget to reach out and do the uncomfortable thing to people, because who knows, this co-worker may not have had many friends, I could see how such a person who keeps everyone at arm lengths away won't let friends into her life. To some degree this is true of all of us. I guess my challenge is simply this: get to know those around you. Take a break from work and just say hi. God made us to be social. I wonder how much of this could have been prevented if we were just more friendly. We spend most of the total day hours of our lives at work.