What's happening to my boys!?!?

Russell Crowe has to be one of my favorite actors of all time. Master & Commander, Gladiator, that one movie where he sees people and he's a math genius? Yeah, excellent actor....that is until I heard a song by one of my favorite Irish bands, Gaelic Storm, where the lead singer used to manage a bar out in San Fransisco (true), and how Russell Crowe came in and tried smoking during the ban (probably true), and like the song goes, good ol' Gladiator was drunk and up for some scrapping when the lead singer told him he couldn't smoke at the bar....so he hit Russell in the head!! You can listen to the song while reading this here. Gaelic usurped the position of affection in my mind that Russell once had. But Russ was a great actor, and if you've seen him in Master & Commander, you might agree that was one of his best roles. One interesting thing from the movie of actual historical significance is this: you ever notice who the seamen (a few elderly men) called Lieutenant....those 17 yr old boys. No, it was not the mistake of the producers to put in boys when they meant men.

Sure Russ was older and the commander and all, but it was common practice to put 16-18 yr old boys into leadership on those boats during the wars of 1812 and earlier. It was practice of the British Royal Navy to enroll young boys by the age 13 to start their training to be midhshipmen, and then if they passed their test, to be Lieutenants. Interestingly, the practice to train up young people in the seafaring skill, is still continuing to this day in a program called Outward Bound (if I had the time and money, I would so do it, but alas...).

That was the 1800's. Now consider the early 1900's to the 60's. If you were 26 yrs old, there was a 68% chance that you were married, had kids, and a mortgage. Fast forward, to today. The average 26 yr old (I believe the stat for which this is true is 78%) is not married, does not have a mortgage, but is the main consumer of video games. In the US, the age bracket 18-34, makes up 95% of the consumers of video games that come out today. What happened?

Something happened in the early 20th century, that changed things forever for men. In the marketing world there was a term called "elusive gap", which were men between the ages of 18-35. You couldn't reach them. They were not shoppers, they were content (maybe, or just depressed...or rich), you couldn't reach out to them. That is until something happened in marketing theory. Something so radical, it would change the face of marketing to really what we know it is today. Over our great pond in England, the president of Maxim (a gentlemens magazine), started walking down a radical path wih marketing, which said, "Give them what they want." That was it!! The women began showing up on their magazine covers in ways that would set the model for marketing that we see today. Beautiful blonde babes, draped (not dressed) in clothes almost falling off, starting getting mens attention, and consequently brought mens eyes over products inside the magazine.

It is the same today. We get what we want!! It's gone so far as company's studying bilogical responses to images, smells, and reactions to products. Emsense is such a company, that scientifically measures the neural reaction to movie trailers, to see which ones will do the best. The main thrust in marketing today seems to be satiating the consumers. "The customer is always right", right? But what's best for us?

The society has fostered a stagnant atmosphere for our young adults, one in which they are not challenged. "You want to stay home with your parents in the basement until your 24? Ok, how many twinkies would you like? You dropped your gaming console....here." It's almost as if were now saying, "Whatever the young adult wants, is right?" So lets give them what they want?

My one single question is this? Are we challenging our men? Period. Perhaps we are, but are we challenging them enough? This may be no secret, but men love challenges. That's why we like complicated and competitive video games. Say, "you'll never be able to do it" and watch him excel in trying to prove you wrong. That's not entirely my idea of challenge though.

I feel we have a domino dillemma. If our fathers weren't instructed into passing into manhood, how are they able to do that for us. Its a domino effect. Put yourself in the feet of your father, especially if he doesn't feel fulfilled in his occupation, and his marriage is struggling, it will be difficult for him to look at his son, and breathe manhood into his sails, when he alone doesn't feel manly. My challenge to anyone reading, is to simply begin treating our young adults like men. You treat them like boys, they'll stay boys. Treat them like men, and they'll become men. Sure, they'll be immature. In the 1800's, the biggest problem they had with young lieutenants was laziness. We as men are always growing though.

Challenge us! Treat our young people in the way you want them to be!!





A number of things as of late has fueled thought on this matter. One of the articles that did so, was this one.

Is your movie watching God glorifying?

An article I thought asking a question I dont ask very often.....

Is it possible to glorify God through the enjoyment of music, movies, literature, etc. produced by secular artists?

Yes. I assume the computer you are holding there was probably not built by Christians, and I hope that you are glorifying God as you tap away at it. And of course out from there, there are a 1000 things that we use all day long, and God says, 'whatever you do, whether you eat or drink, do all to the glory of God.' And he knows that you are eating this meat that may have been sacrificed to idols, so that means it was probably butchered by an unbeliever, or handled by an unbeliever, shipped by an unbeliever, it may have been cooked by an unbelieving cook. And here you are savoring the product of all those unbelievers' work because you are in that moment giving thanks to God for it, recognizing that the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof and taking the strength and the joy that comes from it to render back to him.

Now with the arts and with media it is more morally complex than with food. But it is the same principle. The complexity of it is, in those moments what do you do with the moral elements of it that are so contrary to your faith?

I'll just point out one principle because we can talk about this forever. What concerns me is the distinction between entertainment and cultural analysis. To watch something, to study the culture, learn from the culture, be more able to interact with unbelievers for the sake of the glory of Christ is one thing. To just sit and bask in nudity, or bask in fifty f-words, or bask in a world view that is shot through with arrogance to the core, and enjoy it? Hmm. That seems to point to something going on in the heart. And frankly, I have tasted it big time. I think today we are going to have to work at not being shaped by the world because the world has made its world view so scintillatingly attractive.

Movie after movie after movie has come out and most young reformed people are, I would say, indiscriminate. "Let's go to a movie tonight." OK, and then we just choose the best. None of the movies in that theater at that night are any good, probably. But you are just going to do it, because that is what you do. You go to the movies on Friday night, or whatever. And then of course you think, we've got to Christianize this thing somehow.

I just think we need to test our hearts big time. Big time. Why are we able to enjoy hell bound, God ignoring, Christ dishonoring, false world views because we can give it a little twist at the end that it taught us this or that about the world? So, I think the main thing I'm saying there is, test your heart as to whether entertainment is defaulting to the world, or to something more wholesome. We live in an age where we tend to default to the world for entertainment.


This article was found at Desiring God's website, here

A look into Spiritual Depression and weapons to fight it with!

The heart is oh so complex! So many things go into forming the heart all the way from infancy to a persons current age, like circumstances, parental temperaments, world events and friends. Needless to say, its probably the most complex thing in the universe. This heart of ours is also not perfect, as vast as it is. At times we go through stages of what we call depression. It's no fun! As one who has had bouts of depression (relatively mild causes thank God), you want anything but to be in that state of emotion. You're desperate!! In that state you reach for whatever help you can get. Some go to the bar and the bottle, others find susbtances to control their brain, and some just turn off and can't get out of the house. In those times we need tools, tools with which to fix ourselves. We need weapons, weapons to shoot down the lies of the evil one. It is in this light I wish to share with you some thoughts from D. Martin Lloyd-Jones that has helped me IMMENSELY fight depression and realize what it really is.
First, he calls it spiritual depression, which makes sense, in that we are all spiritual. All the time, we never cease to be spiritual beings. Either we are or we are not. In the first chapter he goes into the causes of spiritual depression. One basic cause he doesn't go into very much, because he feels it is not a major cause for it, but is the problem of comparison.

"There are many people who seem to be in trouble because they are more or less living on other peoples experiences, or are coveting other peoples experiences; and it is because they are always looking at persons and their stories instead of frist grasping the teaching [principles with which to live from the Bible], they should have forewarned and safeguarded us against that particular danger [spiritual depression]." (Lloyd-Jones, P. 11)

He more specifically goes into other reasons why people suffer depression. He argues that there are people whose temperaments are more vulnerable to spiritual depression, and other reasons. But I want to hone in one the main reason why people suffer from spiritual depression.

"I think I can put it finally like this: the ultimate cause of all spiritual depression is unbelief....It is because we listen to the devil instead of listening to God that we go down before him and fall before his attacks. That is why the psalmist keeps on saying to himself: "Hope thou in God for I shall yet praise Him..." He reminds himself of God. Why? Because he was depressed and had forgotten God, so that his faith and his belief in God in God's power, and in His relationship to God, were not what they ought to be." (Llody-Jones P. 20)

In those moments when we are at our wits end, we find ourselves having culminated to the point of forgetting who we are in God, what He has done for us, and what He will keep doing for us. In John Piper's book "Future Grace", future grace is one of the biggest weapons with which we can fight depression. We REMEMBER that has provisioned eternally a measure of grace to those who love Him. It means He's taken care of us!! His grace is known to us from the ways he's worked in our lives, and we are hopeful in looking to the future with the perfect knowledge that God will provide Grace, His Grace, for every moment of our lives. It is here I would say that John Piper's teaching and D. Martin Lloyd-Jones teaching combine to make the most powerful idea against depression. Consider Lloyd-Jones:

"I say we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing 'ourselves' to talk to us![Emphasis added] Do you realize what that means? I suggest that the main trouble in this whole matter of spritual depression in a sense is this, that we allow ourself to talk to us instead of talking to our self...Take those thoughts that come to you in the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc. Somebody is talking. Who is talking to you? Your self is talking to you....You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself 'Hope in God'- instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and What God is and What God has done, and what God has pledged himself to do." (Lloyd-Jones P. 21)

In sum, preach to yourself! Don't let doubt creep into your heart. Unbelief is the very thing that springs up from doubt. Do you believe the Word of God to be true, then stand on it like you believe it is. When you are in the those difficult times, fast from the influences around you, and devour God's Holy Word!! Memmorize it!! Don't let go until you hear from Him!! Press on!! His Grace is Sufficient!!

Consider that if you are in one of those times, God has put you in the middle of the desert for a reason, to ask you one question, "Now that you are despondent and desperate, who are you going to turn to? I'm here, but who are you going to turn to?" Are you ridiculously going to turn away from his hand in search of water on your own, or will you let the master of this world show you the way to the deepest springs of life to be satisfied!!

No adjective

This is a re-post from Ray Ortlund's blog from Zondervan's site.

“The gate of Mercy is opened, and over the door it is written, ‘This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners.‘ Between that word ‘save’ and the next word ‘sinners,’ there is no adjective. It does not say, ‘penitent sinners,’ ‘awakened sinners,’ ‘sensible sinners,’ ‘grieving sinners’ or ‘alarmed sinners.’ No, it only says, ‘sinners.’ And I know this, that when I come, I come to Christ today, for I feel it is as much a necessity of my life to come to the cross of Christ today as it was to come ten years ago—when I come to him, I dare not come as a conscious sinner or an awakened sinner, but I have to come still as a sinner with nothing in my hands.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon, preaching on John 3:18, 17 February 1861.

A look at the difficult practice of forgiveness

My wife and I are about to celebrate our 11 month anniversary, and it's been the sweetest 11 months of my life. I won't lie, they have also been some of the hardest. In fact, loving Emily has invited some of the greatest difficulties, because in loving her, I am dying to my self: I am little by little counting myself as secondary to serving, caring for, and loving my wife!
Do I seem like a good, sweet loving husband? Good, moving on. All that to say, my wife and I are not all that experienced in marriage warfare and the peace-making that necessarily should ensue. But recently in some arguments that we've had recently I've come to some very helpful conclusions. There are daily blogs, radio shows, I subscribe to that have proved extremely helpful in my walk with Christ, and I feel I must share my findings and observations with you, because I think the economony of arguments, polemics, and defenses, all with the emotional harborings that go with such battles, is a very common economony in everyones relationships.

Today, my goal is to put into logical order thoughts that have been flying around like highly energetic moths on a cool summer evening. I plan to aggressively PEG them to some poster board, and Lord willing disect them, for the benefit of all, to see what benefit they will give.
Under the banner of relational arguments, I'd like to write specifically about a thing that I've found I struggle with, BIG TIME! Forgiveness! It's just plain hard! It is by nature, a very logically abrasive thing to do. I'm going to go "point by point" format, so here are my observations on this difficult thing:

Forgiveness is...
1) Unjust! Yes, thats right, you are being completely just when you withold forgiveness against someones genuine offense. Isn't that how the courts work. You offend the law, you commit a crime, you PAY! There is a necessary transaction. The offender must pay for what he has done, justice says, there must be punishment. So in social circles, an offense is not easily overlooked. Especially when it is over an emotional matter. And to count someones offense as nothing, is unjust. It is also the VERY thing God does when he covers our sin, with the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ. Before Jesus died, God compromised His Glory in forgiving us, those who were repentent of their wrong-doings (so basically all those in the Old Testament of the Bible). He loved us so much, he with-held his wrath, his justice. Consider this; a general of an army sees a woman taking a shower (a woman who he knows is married) and takes her and rapes her. To cover up for himself he sends the husband of the woman to the front lines to be killed, and killed he is. Now picture a short time later, a chaplain comes to the general and tells him he has sinned before God, and the general who lives a life of faith, realizes what he has done, and repents. Because God loves him, he compromises His glory to forgive that man. From the woman's father's point of view, that is a travesty!! He may cry out, "What God? You're just going to forgive him? Just like that? That's not justice! He raped MY daughter!" That's right, true forgiveness is not just! (so that you know there is not a puzzle piece missing, God's glory is reconciled when he sent his son Jesus to die in the place of everyone whom he forgave and loved...Jesus Christ received the punishment that was due to the offenders).

Forgiveness may just be the deepest way in which we exhude God's love for us, to each other. To say "My dear wife, I count all you just said as nothing, I forgive you" is to echo God's sentiment towards us when he says, "My dear children, I count it as nothing what you just did, because the punishment you deserve was put on my Son." What love!

2) Difficult! Why is it so difficult!? Partially because we are hard-wired with a sense of justice, as mentioned before. When we are offended we act as if we are someone high and mighty. "My dear wife, you have just offended the might Luke...you just don't know who you are messing with." We may have such a high ego of ourselves that we are not so quickly ready to forgive such offensive accounts against a person so noble. In marriage, I am called to die to myself, and count my desires secondary to Emily's. What does this look like? It may sound like this in your head, "Gosh, I'm sooo offended! I can't believe what just came out of his mouth." We are so floored at the audacity of such a move, that we get stuck in the awe of it all. And true, it may hurt a lot, and the time between an offense delivered and forgiveness dealt, may take a while, because a hurt can go VERY deep. But if that person is truly sorry, we are to free them of their guilt and quickly forgive them.


There is a side of forgiveness that is dark and manipulative. When we withhold forgiveness from someone after they've been sorry, you are treading in dangerous waters.

Think of it in terms of debt and a covering. When one offends you, they are in your debt. They owe you something. To forgive is to cover it, and count the debt as nothing. But when you hold the debt tight, that's when things get ugly. You passive aggressive people, I think you specailize in this.

When you keep an offender in debt to you, you...

1) Are being extremely manipulative! You are being just, but are throwing the cares of the relationship away. The offender has realized his wrong, and wants reconciliation, but you don't....or maybe you do, you just want him to suffer for a bit, like you did. You are not a friend, you are not looking out for their good, you're not looking to build them up....you're crapping on their well-intended apology. This will lead you no where fast!

2) Are not showing love! It is ok for one to demand compensation for the offense (and it is the just thing to do), and then after which you'll consider things even. But it is love that says, "No, no need, I forgive you and lets put it past us and move on." For the sake of a couple, and the love that can be had, we forgive.

Those are my thoughts. Care to comment?

"Your love is my drug"

As I've received an email from one of my best buds here in Chicago about suits for his wedding, I realized, there are a lot of weddings this summer. Bob & Disha Moreau just began their life together. Tim and Karys Lee are on their honeymoon as I write this. Abishek and Jessica Kumar just got hitched like a month ago. Dave Miller and Megan Yoho are about to begin their life together this fall. Maria Luethy is no longer a Luethy (sorry buddy I forgot your last name). Austin and Anna Hand are FINALLY coming together after what has it been, 10 years? No really, I think it was 3-4 years they've been dating...long distance too at that!! Phew!!

To all of you who I just mentioned, you bring so much joy to my heart! You are building for the future lovers, a model of healthy romance that denies the self and looks to the good of the other.

You are essential in that young people now-a-days are being bombarded with a sex-saturated culture. I mean, a 17 yr old Miley Cyrus (probably a girl that many other younger girls looked up to) was pole dancing at one of her concerts. A brief survey of marketing techniques will quickly reveal that companies appeal to the sexual lure to attract customers. In Chicago there is one clothing poster that ipotmizes this I believe, and it portrays a blonde lying on a lawn chair topless (with her arms covering her breasts in a self-hug) with a black mini-skirt all hugged up around her waist. I can't even tell how long the skirt would be if it were pulled down. It's supposed to advertize clothing. No shirt, no shoes, just the skirt. It's ridiculous!

A major mind-shift is happening! A shift that is appealing to the lustful, shallowingly emotional and hedonistic side of the mind.

Kesha's new song, "Your love is my drug" has an interesting line in it. "I don't care what people say...the rush is worth the price I pay" and then goes to sing about having a slumber party in her basement with the "boy" that she's lovesick with....sorry lust sick with. "Luke, you're so narrow minded and old school...how can you accuse her of being lustful, why not just in love? They're just young lovers." To you I'd say, you've misunderstood love altogether. Lust and love have blurred their lines. Love considers the future and makes the best decision for both lovers in the moment; lust lives in the moment and does not consider the future but merely feels the emotions of the moment. Love considers the good and well-being of the other to be goal of their love; lust is selfish and does not give way easily to the good of others.

Today there seems to be a thought that dominates many of our decisions. "Do what feels good." This is basically hedonism. What's wrong with this? I desire an ice cream cone, I'll get one. I want to hang out with my friends, here I go. I love my wife and want to give her a kiss, MMmmmmwah!! Nothing is really wrong with this....except too much of a good thing, is a bad thing! Healthy doses of hedonism need to be met with healthy doses of discernment and reason. Hedonism says "I feel like ice cream right now", and discernment counteracts and replies "hmm maybe you should hold off, you're 475 lbs. as of last Tuesday....you can do without." Hedonism says, "I'm bored I feel like hanging out with my friends" but reason interjects "Ok, do that....if you want to violate what your father said about leaving the house, so if you leave you'll see nothing but being grounded ahead of you for the next 2 months."

It sounds simple doesn't it? Then what's our societies problem? Why are so many young people not waiting to have sex for the first time for marriage? Why are they pretending to be adults and having kids at 15, 16, 17, 18?

We just might not be doing a good job at portraying marriage as appealing and exciting. Instead we make shows that play on broken marriages, unsatisfied wives who sleep around, and highlight the steam of adultery. It's sick, and no wonder our children will copy what is prized, or is held up as exciting.

We need to be an exceptional model to our young people! Marriage is awesome, marriage was intended to safeguard the emotions and general well-being of the other, by way of each other.

Was that a soap box? I'll get down now....thanks for listening!

"No chance of the yellow brick road now": DeVille saga pt 2

Today my co-workers and I danced around the empty desk where my troublesome co-worker once sat, singing "Shes gone...shes gone" all the while awkwardly dancing other-worldly jigs to the tune of the Wizard of Oz soundtrack. It was still a bit of a crazy day today, though this day marked the first in which her absence was relished. You see, she didn't just leave quietly. No no, she had to go and do something stupid. And stupid it was on many levels.

This morning I go to work expecting her not to be there, but dreading that stomach dropping feeling of seeing that weird backside of her head, that so invoked a sort of comical pavlovian effect, which made me almost want to shout "Everyone I'm not glaring at her...can I have your attention please...I would like you all to know that I am not looking into her eyes with embittered sentiments....thank you....and carry on!" Instead she is gone, and I curiously have an extra skip in my step, and a calm in my chest. After about an hour of being at my desk, I hear my co-worker get a call from someone, and it went something like this:

"Hey good morning...yeah...so I heard...WHAT!?!....no...I never did....no that was Luke...no way..." and so it went, you get the jist. When he was done, he looked over his cubicle and began telling me of the allegations that our terse lil co-worker is throwing around. Apparently him and I walked by her cubicle once one day, and in a spout of hatred towards her, he slapped his hands on her desk, and I slapped her across the face. HA! Before I could develop my "guy only" theory about her actions, I then learned that her immediate supervisor would repeatedly stand behind her desk, stomping her feet, and has been known to occassionally flick off our poor co-worker...allegedly. If I spent the rest of my day with my jaw open, it would not bring justice to the awe I felt at that moment.

One thing that this experience has given me, is a social profile for a truly crazy person, into which I'm sure more people down the road of life I'll live will bring others into. When I was going through this, I found myself at a lack for words to describe her, her actions, and my feelings towards her in this scenario. None of us at the SunTimes have ever heard of anything like this, and boy was it a quick school program for learning how to deal with conflict.

I'm sure the ENTIRE company knows of this...people everywhere are talking to me about it, giving me joking stares and then chuckling. The best one was by this one guy who came up to me during lunch and was like "stop staring at me....noooooo" and pretended to be melting. Everyone seems to be getting a kick out of it.

But let me draw your attention to a detail of this matter that I want everyone to think through. First thing is, we are a society of people...a collective people, a family (as dysfuntional as it may be). Second thing, put yourself in her shoes. I'm going to guess that mentally she may not be the sharpest tool in the shed (and really which one of us is truly sharp all the time....with or without our coffee), and has had situations in other jobs. There is a proverb that says "out of the mouth the heart speaks", and the things that she just went through here were not environment dependent, but something shes going through at home, with her family, or with a loved one...really who knows. But one thing is for sure, as a society we may be all too quick to poke, prod, and criticize at others expenses. This scenario is a bit different in that, what she did was just plain uncalled for, and outrageous. But I want to remind everyone of whos reading this, of the healing power of friendship. Don't forget to reach out and do the uncomfortable thing to people, because who knows, this co-worker may not have had many friends, I could see how such a person who keeps everyone at arm lengths away won't let friends into her life. To some degree this is true of all of us. I guess my challenge is simply this: get to know those around you. Take a break from work and just say hi. God made us to be social. I wonder how much of this could have been prevented if we were just more friendly. We spend most of the total day hours of our lives at work.

The Comfort of Ambiguity

Recently I've talked to more people about religion, God, Jesus and worldviews than I have in a long time. I've been enjoying the conversations very much, but something keeps happening. As the conversation shifts to their views on spiritual things, people start to talk about God in very free and liberal ways. "God is my father in the sky" or "I believe in god, the god of all religions." I then dialogue with them after asking them what they think when the Word of God says of Jesus, "I am the truth, the way and the life" or Jesus said of himself, "If you know me, you know my Father who sent me." We all desire to know God, to go deeper, but God has pre-ordained a way to himself....through Jesus.

My impulse to that is, isn't that quite narrow? Just Jesus? I mean what if you read the Bible, do good works, and just believe in God. Isn't that good enough? If we say yes, if we have taken upon ourselves the assumption of rulemakers. If we say yes, then we have basically said, "This seems good, SURELY God works this way."


When a 14 yr old boy approaches a girl with that classic note which reads, "Do you like me? Check one: Yes or No" he doesn't presume she likes him and throws away the note thinking "SURELY she must like me, because I'm a good guy who likes to play games and am fun" before he lay's a smacker on her lips. He would be a fool! Why? There is a certain way to her heart, abounding in sweet words, full of flowers, all along a path made of 78% Dark Chocolate. All of us men, who think to even start presuming new rules on our own in our pursuit of those wonderful beings God gave us, know it just can't be done (I will concede, there are a few who may enjoy less than traditional means to her heart...alas all analogies break down somewhere). So there is one way to God.

My question still stands, why are so many comfortable with just God, and not Jesus?

In brief I think its because Jesus is so specific!! He came, fulfilled a set of rules, gave new ones, and told people how to live, and how to find God. That's how it feels to unbelievers I think. They say, "How could a gracious god such as mine come down from heaven, and speak judgment upon all who don't beleive, that's harsh! That's not my god!"

So many rabit trails could be had at this juncture, but I want to hone in on one nature of the heart that might be the culprit in giving vent to this sort of attitude. The comfort of ambiguity (or maybe the desire of laziness).

This ambiguity is to describe anything that would otherwise be direct, clear, upfront or potentially offensive. People don't want a god that tells them they are inherently bad, and need something to save them, no they want friends as gods, who will "accept them as they are." Who wants to have a god that whispers in your ear, "you shouldn't be doing that." What we really want is a lawless god. It's his law that gets us, because from the moment we are born we live against it.

The ambiguity plays into it all, when the mind walks to the fringes and says "Maybe God wouldn't mind if I did this, but maybe he might." In the space between obedience and rebellion, there is blissful ambiguity, in which we just don't know for sure, or we have found some peaceful middle ground where accountability does not show its annoying face.

This is right where the devil wants us...arms length away from the reality that can change us forever, but far enough, seemingly, from evils grasps to not make us feel utterly evil. It is the sucess of the evil one to allow us to feel that we have done no wrong, and don't need saving.

Here, our best weapon is cold water! Yes, ice cold water, the kind that causes even the deepest sleeper to rise in a gasp. The cold water of reason that says we do wrong and are in need of Savior.

In this realm of ambiguity, we must be counter-cultural. We have to be that prophetic word that splits flesh and bone, straight to the soul. Jesus is the way, the truth and source of life eternal! This is the message, don't be afraid of it!!

"The power of God and the potency of prayer"

Today was just one of those days. You know what I'm talking about, they just mysteriously happen. Perhaps something to do with alignment of the planets or weather, but you just wake up grumpy, have a hearty breakfast but it does nothing for you. You go see your favorite people, the ones that usually make you smile and laugh, but you are unfilled. You finally have the rest of a day to spend with your loved one, and it just wasn't as fun as you thought it would be. Thoughts of just getting the day done with and over, and try to start new tomorrow morning are frequent. Perhaps the best way to describe it is, funk! I'm just in a funk...not funky. No sir, not feeling funky, just a funk has come over me. Don't try to pretend you don't know what I'm talking about...I think its human to go through this....

...but how you react to this, makes all the difference in the world!!

It would be my guess that others, like me, when they're in this "funk" start asking questions that are not fun, but if you haven't asked them before, are vital to your happiness. Questions like "what will I do today?", or "why did I chose this way of life?", or even "why am I alive, what's my purpose, am I to work a 9-5 job until I die or retire and lose my mind?" These times that we go through are vital, and how we go through them are even more so!

A great counselor, writer, and pastor named D. Martin Lloyd-Jones, once wrote regarding depression "the oxymoronic ability for a believer to be depressed, is their inability to preach to themselves, and their ability to live off their feelings" [paraphrased]. If our whole worldview is based on something as subjective as our feelings, our lives will amount to nothing more than a series of roller-coaster rides, and at that, may even have the ability to fall off our rails. Think about it, what are our feelings based on, or influenced by...things that surround us. Circumstance, health, weather, activities, and other peoples sentiments towards us. We can't control this, as much as we may try to.

I'll be honest!! I want to be happy! I want constant satisfying joy! I want to be known perfectly, I don't want my wife to have to guess as to what's going on with me (though she is VERY good at that...she must know me in some part I guess). I want to be able to shake myself out of every funk I find myself trapped in! When I compare what I can do, what I've done, to where I want to be....I find myself completely lacking in skill to get there. The fact of the matter is, I fail sometimes. So how do I get there. Let me tell you a story:

I went on a solo backpack trip in the Appalachian Mountains once and I forgot my headlamp. I went to the mountains a little nervous knowing there were bears, wolves, and creatures who could easily prey on my tender white flesh if they wanted to, especially being alone, but confident as to where I was going. When it came to evening time, and light was slowly fading, I found myself not too sure where I was, where my campground would be, or if the skies would stay clear for me (I didn't have a tent...I chose to be under the stars to sleep). If I had let my emotions take the best of me, some poor guy would have found me running through the forest and screaming for help like I had just met Saskwatch or something. But I had to preach to myself, coach myself into truth....I had to tell myself "If God is in control of everything right now, if he is not done with his plans for me, if he can shut the mouths of bears and wolves (like he did for Daniel in the lions den), THEN my God will look out for me."

So too today I have found myself altogether hard-pressed to find something with super-natural strength to bring me out of this funk. I found myself praying, praying to the one who always listens, who always knows my state of emotion before I tell him. I found my answer in a facebook post that basically encouraged me with a truth of God, and a caution against a lie from the devil. That's how it is isn't it! No matter how I FEEL, the truth of God stands firm, but the lies of the evil will try shake the foundation of that truth. Right now, as I write this, I am a son of God adopted to His family by His will, I am co-heirs with Christ not in this world but in the world to come as well, I have a Father who has provisioned every good thing for me before I could think of them.

The word says in Psalms "In my presence there is joy, in my right there is pleasure forevermore" I want that!! You know what, I can't find that in a calming cup of tea, a glass of wine, in comedy, in chocolate, in delightful friends, or even in my wife! I must press into my Fathers heart and delight in Him in order to find what I've been looking for all along! The place where joy and relationship with my maker perfectly mingles!!

I want to mention one more thing. There was one more instance when I was in a funk, it was ruining Emily and I's day, she didn't know how to handle me, I didn't know what I myself was going through. Something sudden happened, and the next instant a weight was lifted off my heart. I felt new, and wonderfully suprised! My immediate next thought for some reason was...."somebody prayed for me." I turned to Emily and said, "Emily did you just pray for me?" She calmly looked at me, smiled and nodded. We both then just marveled at how God's Spirit works between us! God impressed Emily to pray for me, and BOOM like that, it was effectual. Ladies, don't forget to pray for your husbands, and husbands likewise your wives. Prayer is probably one of the most effectual disciplines and is probably the one thing we do the least. God bless you all....and good night!

"Are you glaring at me?" DeVille saga, pt.1

I love challenges, and I guess that's why I've set out on this blogging adventure. A while ago, I was doing one of those personal temperament profile test things, and I took the test and found the essay that "explained" my temperaments and attitudes to be fairly accurate. It said, I rise to challenges, that I am not satisfied with the ho-hum of life, and when others may desist, I persist! I guess that may explain the reason why I'm doing this. I love puzzles, and this lady I work with is totally baffling everyone. Before I get any further I must provide some backdrop.

Meet my curious cubicle neighbor, Miss Cruella DeVille (code name for the blog...its therapeutic for me to call her that, c'mon), about 33 years of age, single, African-American, dreads, modestly dressed with nothing extreme and actually wears an abnormal number of full length skirts down to the ankles (I notice because such conservative dress is abnormal in this "exposed" society...and you may be thinking "Wow Luke, no wonder you're having drama, you yourself are staulking her and the clothes in her closet"...I also mention this because I believe this to be significant...not sure how currently). She started working for the Mobile Devices department of the SunTimes Newspaper at Merchandise Mart. Her first day was about a month ago, and she was friendly, saying hi to all who came by her desk, and for the first week we had friendly conversations back and forth...mostly light conversation. Her wit had a delightful jovial spirit at the center with soft sarcasm around the edges. Not offensive, nothing crazy, just witful joking around.

This is where the mystery begins, where Dr. Jekyl under the light of the moon mysteriously changes form and turns into...well its not that hideous of a situation, but its super intriguing. Somewhere right after her first week, she began to be frank and terse, almost to the extent that the DeVille I knew no longer existed, and it was as if night turned to day, as if in fit of rage, she like Jake in "Twilight", began to morph into a giant wolf creature...not really but you get the picture...it was sudden.

Soon, attempts at making small talk brought responses, like "Luke, actually I'm going to get back to work now, if you don't mind" preceded by a long annoyed stare. I can respect a womans desire to make it as successful and work hard, and push through lunches for the sake of productivity. We all make sacrifices sometimes.

So for a about a week I didn't bother her, I let her be. She became increasingly somber, and her interactions with people grew shorter and more frank. But at about week two of her time there, I looked over my cubicle to see if my co-worker Jim was sitting at his desktop, when a stern annoyed voice spoke to me, "Luke are you GAZING at me? Are you looking at me? Do you NEED anything?" As my guess that the look of someone in awe and the look of "caught-with-your-hand-in-the-cookie-jar" are quite similar, she thought she caught me, but really I was like...."whaaaaaaa?" I said, "excuse me?", she seemed pissed at this point. "Do not gaze at me...do you need anything?" Again, I'm like "whaaaaa?" So I say, "No....no I was looking for Jim...over there" as I pointed in his direction. She just lowered her head with a scowl.

I returned to my normal position facing my computer, which is opposite of her desk.

What does a good mannered gentlemen do, who doesn't want to get slapped with false sexual harrassement charges, but wants to honor the common woman in the workplace? "Leave her alone," was the advice I received from many respected woman including my wife (baby I love you, you give the best advice in the world). So I did, much against my "fix-it" tendency I have...I made it may life-goal NOT to make eye contact, and for the last two weeks, I succeeded....only in my own perspective I guess, because today I was caught "glaring" at her, while emptying my loose leaf tea into the trash.

This is where my gears of puzzle solving start to make an annoying screaching sound as my gears are running so fast they're running out of the oil of previous learned experience...this is something entirely new and befuddling!! In fact, I have no gear for this...I'm spinning free, no teeth to catch on the wheel of the next gear. So I'm not even looking at her, but apparently I was "glaring" at her this time. In fact as I was looking at the trash can, she started talking to me, and as I raised my head, I found she was already staring at me. This was our conversation:

DeVille: "Do you need anything? Stop glaring at me Luke!"

Me: "What are you talking about?"

DeVille: "If you want anything, just use my name, don't glare at me."

Me: "Deville, I don't want anything....I wasn't glaring at you I was emptying my tea....."

DeVille: "JUST....don't glare at me....use my name. That's all I ask."

Me: "I wasn't glaring at you, I was....*insert sigh*....this in your head DeVille, its all in your head"

DeVille: "Whatever, don't glare at me, that's all I ask."

Me: "This is a game in your head DeVille, I went out of my way to NOT look at you for the past two weeks DeVille....this is one big game all in your head."

DeVille: "Don't stare at me."

Then....it was over. I turned back to my seat, trembling with adrenaline through my body! I successfully don't know what to do. She's crazy!!

The current fix on the situation is to put a bulletin board between our cubicles, so she can't see me "glaring" at her, while I face the opposite direction and work on my computer. All this is not so en-angering anymore, just super duper uber perplexing! I'm working with someone as mysterious as mystery itself on a foggy evening in London, and its causing me to want to figure her out.

And now on a serious note:

I've been praying for her, I don't know if she's going through something with her family, a death, or is just emotionally despondent right now, who knows but my Father in heaven.

I'll keep writing as long as interesting things keep happening! This is so fun....and therapeutic!